Friday, July 29, 2011

How to Kiss Butt the Correct Way--Tip Thursday (posted on Friday)

Sorry I missed tip Thursday yesterday.  I went into my classroom to start setting up and just didn't have time.  I did work on two new projects as well.  I will be sure to post pictures soon.

Today's blog is going to discuss the art of kissing butt. 

"Why would I ever want to be a 'butt kisser'"  you ask? 

Because it will get you what you want.  We all know that we love getting what we want.  Also, there are often people we cross paths with in our lives who can do something for us. 

Now, I am not saying that you should only be nice to people because there is something they can do for you.  You should always be a kind hearted person no matter what that person's status is.

However, it is often a good thing if your principal or boss likes you. 

Discipline is easier when Joey's mom already knows and likes you.

If you are trying to sell tutoring services over summer break to make extra money you will certainly be more successful if you build a rapport with your future customers. 

By doing a little bit of Butt Kissing you can get what you want. 

There is a wrong way of doing it though.  If you do it this way, it will backfire on you.

Here are some examples of the wrong way:

When I was in college I worked in the coffee shop inside of Borders Books.  At the time it was called Seattle's Best Coffee.  Every Saturday morning I saw the usual rush of frequent customers.  One set was a father and his son.  Dad was probably in his late forties or early fifties.  Son was a teenager.  To this day I can still remember their usual orders.  They were that regular of customers.

They weren't super friendly, but not rude either.  Just treated me like someone they didn't know.  They didn't know my name.  They didn't speak to me as if they recognized me each week.  They didn't make small talk.  They acted as an anonymous customer for about a year. 

Then one morning out of the blue the Dad seemed to be super friendly.  He actually made eye contact with me.  He looked at my name tag and called me by name.  He also smiled and made small talk.  I was enjoying the brief and friendly conversation and felt very comfortable.  He was being nice.

Then it came out like vomit.

He explained that he had just been laid off from his job as an engineer and what starting is own business.  He was teaching self defense classes.  He then invited me to his first class (for a high price) that would be happening within the week. 

He was only being nice to me because there was something I could do for him.  His sincerity did not feel genuine.  He was trying to sell me something.

I politely no thanks.  That my parents had put me in karate for years and years as a teenager and I wasn't interested.

He then retorted with raised eyebrows and made a comment about him hoping I know what to do if a certain scary and sexual situation happened to me.  He then gave me his business card, asked me to share it with my coworkers and left with his coffee. 

Do you think I passed along that business card?  Or even advertised to anyone about his brand new business?

No way!  I tore up his card and put it in the trash.

Do I think self defense lessons for women are important?  Absolutely.

Do I think I would benefit from them?  Yep.

It was his approach at Butt Kissing that ruined it for him. 

Pay attention, because this part is very important.

When you Butt Kiss, do not ask for your favor right afterward. 

It is okay to kiss someones butt if you there is something they can do for you.  It is okay to build a rapport with them to get what you want. 

However, the way to do it is to build a positive rapport with them for a period of time without any strings attached. 

Then, when you need a favor they will be 100 times more likely to help you out.

Have a micro manager boss/principal? 

Get them off your back and build a good rapport with them by emailing your grade level collaboration notes or lesson plans before he/she asks for them.

Be a little bit early for work and make sure she sees you.  You don't have to make over friendly, sickly sweet and fake conversation with her about your weekend.  Just make sure she sees you there early.

This is butt kissing without an obvious agenda.  That way, when you apply for another job you can rely on this person for a reference letter.

Plus, I have learned from experience that these few extra steps will keep a micro manager principal off your back and out of your classroom.

Other ways to kiss butt:

When somone does something nice for you, thank them with a brief hand written note.  This might be a parent who sent in an extra box of kleenex, or volunteered as a helper at the annual Turkey Trot.

Invite parents to volunteer in your classroom.  At the end of the year give them a thank you card with $5 gift card to Starbucks.  Many of them will offer to volunteer or make copies for your when their kids move up to different grades.  Or, they will request you when their younger children move to your grade and you will already have a parent volunteer who knows how to use the laminater or copy machine.

Smile and say "good morning" to all of your co workers.  Even the ones you are not too fond of.  This includes front office staff, parents, custodian, the para you don't even know the name of, lunch room staff, kids.

People you should give a small gift to around Christmas and end of the year (I usually give one of those huge Hershey chocolate bars you can get for $1 at Walgreen's):

your principal,
anyone who works in the front office,
 custodian,
 lunchroom staff,
curriculum coach,
team members,
parent volunteers and/or parents who donate supplies
specials teachers

Include a short note wishing them a happy holiday or stating what a wonderful year it was and hope they have a great summer. 

I should also note that you should become friends with the team of teachers the grade right below you.  Even if you don't like them very much.  They choose who goes into your class the next year.  Don't bribe them. I also don't recommend giving them end of the year gifts.  This is too obvious of what your agenda is.  However, if you can coordinate reading buddy time with them, pick up a duty for them, include them on your email list when you share cool websites you come across, they will be nicer to you when placing their students.

Also, if you borrow materials from someone..... when you return it, toss in a little pack of m&m's to say thank you.  Not something big, but the gesture goes a long way.

If you've been paying attention thus far you should know that when you give them that gift, that is not the time to ask for your favor.

However, when your printer runs out of toner, the secretary will be more likely to help you out.  The custodian will give you new trash bags or paper towels with a smile. 

Specials teachers may be more forgiving when you are a little bit late to pick up your class (as long as you are not always late).

I hope this helps.  Happy butt kissing to all.  :)

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